Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Help for the Hurting

Someone I care a lot about is going through a very deep sorrow right now.
It can be hard to know what to do.  
How can I help?
What should I say?
I don't have all the answers.  
But, I have some ideas.

Don't be afraid to track down their contact info.
Do you not know their mailing address?  You aren't sure if you should call them?
You aren't sure if they know how much you care, so maybe you shouldn't say anything?
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  If you care & tell them that, it will mean a lot.
You & your care matter.  
My friend told me that she was so blessed by everyone who "tracked" her down.
When you are in the midst of life-altering grief, you can't go contact all your friends.
Go to the one who is hurting.  

Tell Them You Care
Write a note.
Tell them how much you care.
Tell them things that you love about them.
Tell them that you are praying.

Give a Hug
I'm not sure if a good hug would ever be the wrong thing to give someone hurting.
It's worth a try!

Give Something Beautiful
flowers maybe?  A beautiful card?
I went back & forth with myself, wondering if the flowers I put together were too cheery.
And in the end, I didn't know.  Maybe they were.  
I didn't know if the card I picked out was perfect or not.
But, I just went with it.  Just do it.  
Just show that you care.


Give Something Nourishing
When someone is going through a deep valley, 
the last thing they may think about is fixing a healthy meal.
But, they need it.  There body is stressed under the pain & grief.
They need good food.  
Do you make a great soup?  Amazing curry?  The perfect lasagna?
Share the love.

Give a Tasty Treat
A favorite coffee drink?  The best ever cookies?
Some ice cream?  These Semi-homemade treats?


Give an Ear
If your friend does want to talk, listen.
Don't try to talk out "solutions" to everything.
Listen.

Don't Know What to Say
Do you not know what to say?
It's okay.  You don't have to say anything.
You could just try, I don't know what to say.  
Or, I am praying for you.
My friend told me that everyone is saying to her, I wish I knew what to say.
She said, it's okay, I don't know what to say.  What can say?

Give a Break
Can you offer to do a little housework while your friend gets out?
Perhaps you can take the children to the park, while your friend has a quiet break at home?

Reach out, say little, listen lots.  I think your friend will feel loved.

5 comments:

Alyss said...

This is a wonderful post! I think everyone goes through moments of wanting to help, but not knowing how to do it. Please tell your friend that a fellow sister in Christ is praying for her.

Nicola S. said...

thank you for the post Erin. I'll be praying that God will give you the right words of comfort for your friend.

Nicola S. said...

thank you for the post Erin. I'll be praying that God will give you the right words of comfort for your friend.

Melissa Joy said...

Spot on.
May the Lord be with you as you minister to your grieving, suffering friend.

Stephanie said...

I've heard this same message time and time again from people going through hard times. Just say or do SOMETHING.

I try to remember to take that to heart. As you mentioned, food is an especially wonderful gift.

stephanie@metropolitanmama.net