And, she also gave us permission to use more than five minutes...
I think I'll have to take her up on that.
Ready, Set, Write.
Sometimes our greatest gains, only come after the most significant losses.
When we had our ultrasound that showed us we would lose our firstborn child,
we also lost the ability to have naive giddiness about all our future pregnancies.
We would never again just go in for an ultrasound with light hearts.
We lost some the innocent excitement.
But with the loss, we gained greater trust.
Trust that our baby was in God's hands, no matter what.
We gained greater love.
Love that is willing to love the one who is unlovely to most.
Love that is willing to love with our whole self,
even if we know the life will be short & the heart break will be great.
We gained a small understanding of His peace. His peace that is beyond understanding.
I don't understand it still, really. But, I know it is great. It is incomprehensible.
We lost some happy-go-luckiness.
We gained a longing for heaven & wholeness.
We gained insight into others pain.
I lost my perfectly happy little family dreams.
That allowed me to open my heart to the orphan.
It is okay if adoption will be a bit messy.
I know now my family wasn't meant to be sheltered from pain.
The pain of the loss of my son,
has given me courage to gain more sons (&/or daughters),
who will come to me with their own history of loss & pain.
This one took me 10 minutes. I leave it at that.