Beauty vs. Sexuality - Hugo Schwyzer
"If a man claims to be able to “look” without lusting, he’s too often accused of denial at best and rank dishonesty at worst. If a woman says she believes men can gaze without carnal desire, we call her foolishly naïve. A self-fulfilling prophecy is created; if men are taught they can’t separate a delight in beauty from a longing for sex, they won’t."
"It's far more important, to me, that we understand that strength and integrity and boldness and security and sureness of spirit and mind are not masculine, but human, qualities, and that we teach that truth to the women we love."
The Kitchen is Feminine - Ed Cyzewski
"God wants men to stay out of the kitchen. Women are the unquestioned authorities in the kitchen... Who baked the bread when the three strangers stopped by Abraham’s tent? It wasn’t the father of our faith. He didn’t kneed to make the bread since Sarah was around."
Does Chemistry Matter? - Ally Vesterfelt
"I realized that the “chemistry” I felt with certain people said more about me than it did about them, and more than it did about our relationship."
"I realized that the “chemistry” I felt with certain people said more about me than it did about them, and more than it did about our relationship."
{male & female}
Check out these links & tell us what you think.
Especially link numero uno, y'all. I think he is so right on.
8 comments:
I read that first article a couple of times, Erin. I haven't been in the "evangelical youth" world for a long time, so I hope I'm catching his point, but I do think he's right on. I have seen this insecurity in women--bouncing from the extremes of modesty paranoia to sexual temptress, and I think one of the biggest issues in this imbalance is father hunger. Ladies should be taught that they are beautiful while they grow up in their father's house and, Lord willing, she will carry that security in her beauty into her married life.
Likewise, a godly man should be looking for a beautiful, godly woman that he wants to take to bed (by properly marrying her). However, coming from the wife of a man who lifeguards in Los Angeles, I know it is possible for a godly man to guard his heart and look without lust--which is essentially just Christian maturity.
Brittany - your point about Troy & life-guarding is right on point. He is able to see women, and I am sure he knows many of them are beautiful, but that does not mean he is lusting for them or desiring them.
I hear your point about the father/daughter relationship & it is very important. And yet, no matter how much we love our dads & are secure in that relationship, I think we are longer for something different, too. A husband & a dad are not exactly the same thing to a woman. ;)
I agree, ultimately all our security is in God the Father. If a lady doesn't have that, it doesn't matter how she was raised, she will struggle with these issues her whole life. God has blessed ladies with covenant headship on earth that is hopefully a picture of that. However, this should also be an encouragement to those who can't point to a godly upbringing, as every one of us needs to cling to Christ in this.
OK, and here I am again.
I realize what you're saying too, and that husband and father relationships are entirely different--I agree. Just to clarify, what I was trying to say was that the insecurities that a daughter may have growing up, if they aren't dealt with in godliness, will continue into her adulthood.
I think this lack of confidence can manifest itself with a near-paranoia about modesty and misconceptions feminine beauty. Ultimately the only remedy for this is clinging to Christ and being secure in your identity with God the Father.
Hey Brittany! :)
I can't see "headship" as the answer for a women's proper view of her own body when the women who are extremely sensitive (or paranoid as you describe) about their bodies not being a stumbling block are usually responding in submission to their respective father/husband/church.
I hope I can make some sense this time!
I still agree with you, but in the situation you described it may be a response to ungodly headship. Biblical headship should help a woman see that her ultimate security is in Christ. Woman who struggle with body image can be encouraged in submission to Christ, (as opposed to submission to what mis-intentioned youth leaders or bossy, interfering ladies might think).
We may differ on our definition of headship here too. I would use Ephesians 5:25 to say that godly headship seeks to lead like Jesus does, by being a servant, not a boss.
Brittany, it is funny you should bring up the definition of headship. At the very moment you wrote this, I was reading a book "Just How Married Do You Want to Be?" & one of the biggies they talk about is headship. I'm not done with the book yet, but I still think I can say I recommend it. I am fascinated by it. They are putting forth that the word for "head" in Eph. 5 is never used elsewhere in the Bible as anything other than a physical head. And that Eph. 5 is referring to the great mystery of oneness with a metaphor of a joined flesh - the husband as the head & the wife as the body, just as Christ is the head & the church is His body. The picture is to show unity.
I. LOVE. YOUR. BLOG!!!!
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