Getting Tangles Out

This hair has always been a challenge. 

Far past babyhood, the cradle cap clung on.

Her straight long hair has always tangled badly.

Detangler never seemed to make much difference.

Brushing was an awful mess.  Painful for both of us.

She never was interested in having her hair cut short.

She wanted to endure & press on.

We learned some things together.

"Grown up" shampoo & conditioner made a world of difference.

This game changing idea didn't come to me until years 

of dry, tangled hair had already passed.

*update to add...  Stopping the baby shampoo & moving to grown up stuff 

was the only thing that solved the cradle cap, too.  

I had been massaging her scalp with this MD Moms stuff, 

which is really awesome stuff.  But for babies.  

It was really tough once there was so much hair to deal with.

My girl was getting a bit braver in the hair combing.

And I was getting smarter. 

Then we made another new discovery.

We started using a brush, instead of the little comb.

Did you even know that there are brushes specifically called 

Wet Brush Detangling brushes?

Uh.  Yes.  Apparently they make them.  Hola!

I brush through this head of hair, that goes all the way down her back.

She sits in the tub with conditioner in her wet hair.

She tells me that it doesn't even hurt, when I work out the tangles.

Not a single bit.

I tell her how strong & brave she has grown over the years.

And I think to myself how this is really a lesson for her & for me 

for so many things in life.

We have a dream, a goal, something that we are working on,

and along the way things get harder than we thought they would.

We might just choose to bail & get the proverbial hair cut.

Or, we may just take one little step at a time, figuring things out as we go.

We push through some pain and as time goes by, we might just stop & think,

"Wow!  This doesn't hurt like it used to.  I get it now.  I've grown.  

And I'm glad to have made it this far."

About the Web - Effective Stuff

About the web - things I've read & find though provoking & helpful.
What do you think?


Affective is Greater than Effective - B. Rooted
"An effective, well-running marriage routine is not a suitable stand in for tender love; 
neither is sound theology a replacement for deep devotion."  Ruth @ GraceLaced


On Effective Compassion
"Genuine love motivated to action is concerned about the consequence of its action."


On Effective Emotions
"Every day I meet men and women who work so hard at “keeping it together” for the eyes of those around them, rather than working at actually healing the inside."

Effective Education - Practical Pages

“Why would you, a qualified school teacher, homeschool your children?”

Eating Sunscreen - Wellness Mama

Effective Sun Exposure & Skin Health

with more interesting links on the subject, also...

Moira eats & wears coconut oil - a protection from UV rays

Bagging issues, summer driving conditions & such nonsense

The two big kids went to Vacation Bible Camp all last week.  I am tuckered out.

Leaving the house every morning, dealing with summer traffic, playing at the park,
being in the sun.

Oh.  Woe is me...

No.  In truth, everyone had a great week.  Me included.  

But, now we are tired & just sitting on our bums in a dirty house.

All the carseat time also took a toll on Kendall's hair.  (exhibit 2)

exhibit 1 - Kendall

exhibit 2 - carseat hair

Driving on the freeway around here in the summer time can be so lame.

All the vacationers clogging up the traffic.  Their cars overheating & causing more traffic.

Nonsense like that.  

Plus, Cal Trans picks this time of year to do all their road work.
Every where.  All over the county.

Making things even more bogged down.

I do like when vacationers ask for directions & such.  

I like telling people where to go & what they should do for fun times.

I also like when people talk to me with an accent.

And I like seeing cool license plates.

Vacationers really are great.  

Something else important that I have been pondering are issues pertaining to bagging.

More specifically, the bagging of groceries.

I don't know if stores train baggers anymore or not.

But I have some rules for them.

1. Please don't stand two wine bottles up in the bag you put my eggs in.
2. I appreciate the idea of separating cleaning supplies from food items.  And yet, I don't think I need my scotch brite pads put in their very own bag--I don't see how they will contaminate my pasta.
3. Please keep the leaky raw meat all to itself.  I get really mad when I unload and find meat juice dripped onto my Parmesan cheese.
4. When a customer asks you not to pack some such things together (e.g. beef stew meat with the ice cream), please don't roll your eyes at me like I am so horrible, bossy lady.  

Anyway.  My kids are all green snot nosed, after a week
of mingling with hordes of other young ones.

Its a day to lay low & play in our own sunny backyard.

A Few Things about The Man

Legos, story books & silly voices, marbles, super heroes.
Dirt digging, bug collecting, berry perfecting, composting, hummingbird spotting.
Working hard & home loving.  My dream come true, plus so much more.
An excellent father to my children - wise, tender, fun, diligent, present.
You have my heart & theirs.

Small Group of Two

He & I, we said we wanted to live this life together in love.
We came together to be joined.
The great mystery that is two becoming one.
In this oneness we stand together as equals.

He knows me & I know him.
Who else hears our biggest dreams & watches our deepest failures?

We hear it said that small groups & mentoring relationships
are key to growing in maturity.
We hear the admonition that "no man is an island",
so you guys should be gathering with us for Men's meals.
"Iron sharpens iron", so make every effort to attend ladies Bible study.
Get involved and grow.

We love church, we love our faith community.
We are involved & we are growing.
But we have a little secret.
Mostly we are home.
Mostly we are together.
Staying at home does not mean avoiding growth.

You know that part about marriage being one flesh?
We've got a built-in mentorship program going on here.
We can stay home, rest, fellowship, water our grass & grow.
He sharpens me & I sharpen him.
We grow.

We have a small small group, he & I.
We talk about real life, we hold each other accountable,
we encourage each other in righteousness & extend grace to each other.
And we grow.
Our hearts stretch up toward God & in that they stretch closer to each other.

**I continue to be inspired by Rachel Held Evans #Mutuality2012 blog event.
I also just got Just How Married Do You Want to Be?
per a recommendation on Laura Ziesel's blog.
I barely cracked it open.  But, I was inspired to write about 
the union of two equal persons.**

About the Web

FDA ordered to Rethink Antibiotics in Animal Feed
"A federal judge said the Food and Drug Administration had done 
"shockingly little" to address the human health risks 
of antibiotic use in animal feed..."


{This Sacred Everyday} Slaving Away in my Garden
"Gardening is my entertainment, my quiet time, my creative outlet, 
and one of the best places to take my spiritual pulse."


In Praise of Boredom
"But I know in my heart that kids need to spend a fair amount of time 
bored out of their skulls."


Being a Dangerous Disciple of an Unsafe God {warning: music}*
"You can only be marked as safe if you’ve fashioned for yourself a God small and tame.

And what the world desperately needs is more dangerous disciples of an unsafe God."


Rachel Held Evans held has been running a blog event Mutuality 2012.
There is a ton of interesting reading.  I have barely made a dent.  
I thought this post was great, about common misconceptions about Egalitarians.
Also this one about leadership requiring context & deep thoughts on being a leader.
This one line at the end of one post seems to sum up so much -  
 "the power struggle between men and women can only end when, 
like Christ, we both choose to lose. "




Did you know about iPiccy?  A free photo editing site.  
Check it out.

*If I click on a link that starts in with music & I don't know to have my volume muted, I get really annoyed.  Seriously.  Angry, even.  Therefore, I warn you.

Marriage Changed My View of Marriage

                                                            Source: leloveimage.blogspot.com via Teighlor on Pinterest

I've heard sermons about how marriage that are built to last are based on

the man being the leader & the wife submitting.

I've read about how a woman wants to be loved & a man wants to be respected
& that is the "key".

I've heard that it is of central importance for the man to be the primary bread winner.

Most of the marriage counsel I have heard 

could be classified as complementarian views.

I saw it as good & right.

It all made sense to me.   

Except when I saw couples who did not follow the complementarian path 

& seemed to have successful marriages.

How was that working?

And what about all the folks who had a leading husband, a submitting wife
& an unhappy life?

So, I wondered.

Then I got married.

And all I thought before didn't seem to make as much sense.

Not because I was discontent at home.  I am not.  It is where I want to be.

Not because my husband was lording it over me.  

He's never pulled the "I'm the leader" card in a disagreement.

Or maybe that bit has a lot to do with my change of view.  

My husband didn't see any need to be over me.

And as time went on in our marriage, I started to see his point.

He led me in seeing that he didn't need to always be the leader over me.
(Ironic, right?)

Although we feel really good about being so equally yoked,

we do have disagreements.  Sometimes.  

Actually, there are things we have ongoing disagreement about.

I started our relationship thinking we needed to always come to some conclusion.

We would need to make some sort of judgement as to what would be the right thing

 to do or believe or what ever.

I was frustrated that Scott would say what he thought, 

listen to what I thought & then be okay with the difference between the two.

If he was going to lead me, he surely should make a decision.  

Didn't he need to have the final say?

He would tell me that he married me to love me & walk with me.

He didn't intend to tell me what I should do or think.

I could see that my expectation of his high headship
was creating tension between us back then.

I thought I knew more about the Bible.

He felt like he had to have the Bible knowledge equal to all my favorite pastors, 

in order to meet my standard.

He married me because he loved my love for Jesus.

He married me knowing I had a trunk full of big opinions.

He loved that I was a strong woman.
Guess what - He has all those same qualities, of the male variety.

Now surely we didn't need to run a race in competition against each other, 

where he needed to stay one step ahead, in order to lead me.
Did he need to daily prove himself to me, as the strong head?

If I felt like I was catching up to him should I be poking him a bit
just to make sure he stays out in front?

Could we not run the race together?

Should we not both fix our eyes on Jesus (the author & finisher of my faith!),
rather than me on my husband?

Should we not urge each other on.

If I stumble, he reaches down & helps me up.  

And if he stumbles, I reach down & help him up.

We are in this thing together.  Side by side.

Once I understood that he didn't want to lay down the gauntlet,
we could both breath a sigh of relief.

So, if the husband doesn't make the final call in a disagreement, what happens, you ask?
We usually put it away for a while.  We lay that discussion to rest.  We pray about it.
As time goes by, new things come to light, hearts change, eyes see differently.
We can come to a decision together.
What about the times when the issue cannot wait?
We learn to defer to one another.  We both make compromises.
We try to lay down our own wants & submit to each others needs.
And I gave up on the idea that we would always have an answer
& that there would always be a clear right & wrong.

Does my husband lead me & our home toward Christ?  Yes.
But I lead him & our home toward Christ, too.
If I want to pray with my husband, I ask him.
It is okay.  I don't have to wait for him & pray that he will want to pray with me.
He doesn't need to feel like a failure, or walked all over.
We don't have an expectation that it is the man's job.
It is our job, as followers of Christ, to spur one another on in love & good deeds.

To be honest with you,
I am not really sure at this point what it means for the husband to be the head of the wife.
I'm not trying to say I know the right way.
I know that people can have long & happy marriages on both sides of the debate.
Whichever side you fall on;
Or if you aren't sure & you're still trying to figure it all out;
I wonder if the folks with happy, successful marriages have all found the same "keys".
Love the other.  Consider the other.  Build each other up.  Carry the others burden.

One of my favorite passages that speaks well to the foundation of a great marriage
is Philippians 2:1-11

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, 

if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, 

if any tenderness and compassion, 

then make my joy complete by being like-minded, 

having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.  

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, 

but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, 

but also to the interests of others.   

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:   

Who, being in very nature God, 

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 

but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, 

being made in human likeness.   

And being found in appearance as a man, 

he humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross! 

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place 

and gave him the name that is above every name, 

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 

in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, 

to the glory of God the Father."

I am linking up with Rachel Held Evans for her Week of Mutuality 2012.
On Twitter, check out #mutuality2012

Before their Season is Over - Favas

For those who wonder what in the world to do with Fava beans...

Source: gourmandeinthekitchen.com via Theresa on Pinterest

I am a bit late on this, as May was their season
& I don't know if any of you all will happen upon Favas right now.
I'm sorry.  : (
As you recall, Fava Beans need to be taken out of their big fuzzy pods,
like so -

Once you have all the beans removed from the pods,
you need to blanch the beans, so you can remove the skins.
If you have a lot of beans, I suppose it is time consuming.
But it is really simple & won't take too long for one small bag of beans.
Read here for more basics about the beans.

After you have blanched & removed the skins, you can do a quick saute in a little olive oil.
Sprinkle your favas with salt & pepper,
a splash of lemon juice & chopped chives, or maybe some shaved pecorino cheese.
Easy, fresh, healthy, yummy.

We got a second round of favas this week & I made a little red rice & fava bean salad.

I did a quick boil for the Favas, and fully cooked a little pot of red rice.

I let both cool.

(You could use any rice or grain for this, I suppose)

I chopped up celery & tossed the 3 items in a bowl.

I chopped about 1/2 a shallot & handful of flat leaf parsley. 

In a little jar I poured in 2 tablespoons of lemon juice & about 1/3 cup Olive Oil.

Salt & Pepper your dressing to taste & toss in the shallots & parsley.

Shake, shake, shake.  Pour over your bean, rice & celery.  

Tada!

This recipe here looks exceedingly tasty, too.

We loved butter braised radishes.  Why not add some favas to the party, right?

About the Web

I make absolutely no commitment to a regular sort of sharing
of things I see about the web that interest me.
Sometimes I look around & I don't find anything much of interest.
Sometimes I don't even look.
And sometimes I probably just won't get around to sharing
all the stuff I think is good with you.
But, sometimes I might.  We'll see.

Here we go - some things that I thought were worth sharing,
gathered from about the web.

PAIN: The Kindling that fuels empathy - Tim Simmons
(I found this link from Rage Against the Minivan)

Internet Drama -  thoughts from Elizabeth Esther

The Dark Side of Healthy Eating - Rachel Marie Stone
(I found this link from Rachel Held Evans)

Adopting Black Babies - a Celebrity Trend? - Kristen Howerton

In Which My Son Doesn't Like Me Sometimes - Sarah Bessey

Will you take part in some surveys about marriage?
Here & here.   Be brave - they are totally anonymous.


Donate toward an adoption fun for Esther & be entered in a big giveaway 
(new Ipad anyone?)

Also - do you know about Matilda Jane clothing?
If you would want to come to a trunk show at my house, tell me.
I would love to get enough peoples together to make that happen.
Look at these girls - (and their cool brother who is not wearing clothes by MJC)

{Teach Them to Know} God is... So I am...

We have a spectacular Children's ministry leader at our church.  

I am so thankful for her.  

She doesn't just teach & bless our kids on Sunday mornings.  

She teaches & blesses us parents & inspires us in our roles as parents.

I told you before about the book Spiritual Parenting.  

She is teaching the adults in our church body through that book.

The book highlights different "environments" we can create as 

places for our kids to learn & know God.

I got my inspiration this week on knowing from the monthly newsletter 

Carrie provides for us at church.

I read through Psalm 145 with the kids.

They were to raise their hand any time 

they heard something that helped them know who God is.

When we were all done we made a list of all the things we learned Him.

Then we put it all into www.wordle.net

You put your text in & create your word clouds.  

(Really fun.  But I did keep messing up...)

We made a God is...

Then from looking at who God is, we found out who we are in Christ - 

and me a  ...So I Am


You can print out your word clouds & hang them in your house!

Will you link up your own blog and share with us?  

You can link a post any time this coming week.

I want my children, first & foremost, to know who God is, 

the only One who can fully know them.

Join the link list below by adding the url for your blog post 

& be sure to link back here from your post.