"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others."
This passage from the book of Philippians is extremely applicable to marriage. Knowing this is how our marriages should look & getting our marriages to look this way are two different things.
Here's a try at applying it to my marriage in my day to day life.
I'm so tired tonight. I need sleep. I don't want to be the one to get out of bed & take the tot to the bathroom.
My husband is tired, too. He needs sleep, too. If I roll myself out of bed I can look out for his interests.
He's late coming home from work. And, I'm having a hard day.
I need to put away the selfish self-pity attitude. It is in conceit that I just assume that my day has been harder, or that my needs should be put first. Look out for the interest of others.
We both have something we want to do on Saturday, without the kids. I offer to stay home with the kids & let him go do his thing. I then feel resentment that he accepted my offer.
My decision wan't selfless sacrifice. Playing the bitter martyr is self focused conceit. I acted like I care about him first, but I really was still counting my own interests as the most important.
I criticize his method of doing something, or some new idea he has.
Putting myself first again! God says I need to regard Scott as more important than myself & be humble.