Wednesday, March 10, 2010

He's Only a Husband

This one is on my mind right now, as my husband has been working long days this week....

Back when I first got married,  I was always so sad to see my husband leave.  And, so excited to see him every single time he came home. 
When we got back from our honeymoon & he had his first day back on the job, I think I cried.  Let me think a second...  Yep.  I know I cried.  So hard to be left alone, when I love you so much.  (sob, sob, sob...)  And then, just as I was getting used to the whole "husband going to work thing", I got sick.  I was so distraught that he had to go to work & leave me at home.  Sick.  By myself.  Bored.  Alone.  (I was not super ill, folks.  I probably had a low grade fever or something...  But, I didn't remember this ever happening to me.  Seriously.  I had lived at home my whole life & with 11 other people in the house, was almost never alone.)
Then serious grief came our way.  I often recall one morning when I was crying a lot & felt especially needy.  Scott came home for lunch and we had a good talk & I cried more with him.  Then, he had to go back to work.  I was shocked.  I still needed him here.  How could he leave me at a time such as this?  He knew I was sad.  He told me to take my cares to Jesus.  Well.  That made me mad.  How could he just be so pietistic & just tell me to pray about it? 
After grumbling for a while & feeling sorry for myself, I guess I stopped & looked to Jesus long enough to realize the truth.  The truth is, Scott was right.  The truth is, Scott is only my husband.  He can't be there to hear all the groanings & troubles & sorrows & worries of my heart.  God is God.  My husband is not God.  Jesus is there for me, to hear my cares.  And, he understands them.  Like no one else ever can. 



Dear reader, always be aware to keep God in His throne & your spouse(friends, parents, children..) in there own place.  Do not let your love turn to idolatry. 

God will give you all the grace you need.  No one else can fill all of your voids.  Only Jesus can.  You will never be happy & content, as long as you look to your idols to meet your needs. 

My husband has seasons of travel for his work.  Sometimes we can tag alongSometimes we can't.  Sometimes he just works really long hours & I have the kids by myself from dawn to dusk.  And you know what?  That's okay.  God's grace is sufficient.  I don't want to grumble.  I want to be thankful that he has a great job that he loves so much.  And, most of all, I want to be thankful that Jesus will sustain me through whatever He calls me to.  I don't need to throw myself across the couch & sob all day. 
I do still want to be super excited to see my husband every time he comes home.  That's a good thing.

13 comments:

Holly D. said...

Thank you Erin for this post. I needed to be reminded that Ryan isn't God but that His grace is sufficient.

Stef said...

I have no idea if our Pastor is the author of his quote or not (our Pastor in Brentwood) but he once said ...

"let the husband be glad to return home and let the wife be sad to see him leave."

And I have to say "amen to that!" These years of marriage ought to make us more in love and not the other way around.

I liked this post a lot. I think its so easy to especially idolize our children. Even when we're just barely pregnant we already have so many demands put on them. They must be perfectly healthy, adorable, a certain weight, a few days early, but not too early, not very fussy, good sleepers and in the end, be the kind of child that makes us look good 24/7. I know I struggle with this. When my kids are naughty in public I have to stop myself sometimes and remind myself to be upset with their sin, not the fact that it makes me feel awkward in front of others. So easy to place husbands and kids on a throne only God was meant to be on.

Good post!

Steph said...

so well said Erin! and I just scrolled down to your post from Tuesday and was nodding my head the whole time in agreement. This last week that really came to a head for me. I was recommended a book called Love and RESPECT (my caps :) that the Lord used for a clouds parting/ scales falling off my eyes type of a thing.
It is sad that such an essential thing for any marriage was not taught to me growing up, but I rejoice that I understand now (instead of 20 years from now!) and am amazed at the difference it has made with my relationships with my kids and Josh. It was what I was yearning and striving for but had no idea how to get there. Ironically, now it seems so obvious :)
Anyway, it is wonderful to have so many allies in wanting to glorify God more thru our marriages.

LindaFaye said...

I think we will always be left disappointed when we look to our spouse (or anyone, for that matter) to be everything for us. How much happier we will be when Jesus is our all and we can love freely rather than grasp for fulfillment!

Melissa Joy said...

That was a wonderfully written post, Erin. Concise and true. Steven is constantly reminding me of these very things. To commune with God, to rely on His sufficient grace, and to cast *all* my cares upon Him.
Although my husband is not God, he is definitely a tool God uses to bring me closer to Himself.
(And I think that's one of the most beautiful things about godly marriage!)

And Stef- "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." That's a quote from Martin Luther! :)

Stef said...

Thanks Melissa! I was talking to Jason about this (asking if he knew where the quote came from) and he said Ryan did say it was a Luther quote when he said it in church. Oops! Things you miss when you're nursing and taking care of baby while listening to a sermon :)

Miss Jen said...

Beautiful post, Erin!!
Thank you for encouraging
us to lift our eyes to Jesus
the author and perfecter
of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)! :>)

With Much Love~Jen
~Psalm 16:11~

big hair betty said...

Erin, you sound like Katy in Stepping Heavenward! But, I love it and am so thankful for your friendship!

Anonymous said...

Superb article, Erin. God alone is God.

P. Andrew

Miss Jen said...

Beautiful post, Erin!!
Thank you for encouraging
us to lift our eyes to Jesus
the author and perfecter
of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)! :>)

With Much Love~Jen
~Psalm 16:11~

Stef said...

Thanks Melissa! I was talking to Jason about this (asking if he knew where the quote came from) and he said Ryan did say it was a Luther quote when he said it in church. Oops! Things you miss when you're nursing and taking care of baby while listening to a sermon :)

big hair betty said...

Erin, you sound like Katy in Stepping Heavenward! But, I love it and am so thankful for your friendship!

Melissa Joy said...

That was a wonderfully written post, Erin. Concise and true. Steven is constantly reminding me of these very things. To commune with God, to rely on His sufficient grace, and to cast *all* my cares upon Him.
Although my husband is not God, he is definitely a tool God uses to bring me closer to Himself.
(And I think that's one of the most beautiful things about godly marriage!)

And Stef- "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." That's a quote from Martin Luther! :)