Sunday, February 10, 2013

Living & Moving "I Love You"

"I love you."  We say it to each other all the time, he and I.
It's true.  We do love each other.
But for the "I love you" to stay real and vibrant,
we have to recognize that those 3 little words are not simple.
They are all living & moving.

As Scott & I clean the kitchen together this week,
(only really a partial clean, people.  rarely is it all the way cleaned.)
he wonders aloud to me,
Does a man fall out of love with his wife, because he only sees her as "wife" or "mother"?
I say, I can see how that could be.  That may, very well, be true.
Couples get bored, because they think they have fully drawn of that well.

But can it ever be done?
Which of us can ever know another person all the way?

This had me thinking.
How easy it is to think we know someone as well as we possibly can know them.
We think "I get you."
But even as I look into his eyes and know well what he is thinking,
there is still more.  There is more that I don't know.  More for me to learn.
Mystery will always remain, even as we grow more in our unity in openness and honesty.
We will never plumb the depths.

As we love each other,
we have the privilege and the responsibility to learn of the other.
For the love to stay, strong and true, we engage in actively seeking each other.
Who are you?  What are your passions and dreams, struggles and pains?
It's about learning that my husband cannot be defined by any
personality quiz, gender study, love language,
career, family background, church denomination...
I know my husband better than I know anyone else,
and better than anyone else knows him.
But, the day I think I can draw up a precise definition of him,
that is the day I am failing to seek to know him well.
On that day, my "I love you" will fall far short.

I will not confine the love of my life to a narrow definition.
In loving him,
I will remember that he is one who is living and moving and changing,
therefore my love has to be the same.
I will never know the fullness of who he is.
May I never tire of learning of his every facet.

"I will love with urgency, but not with haste." -Mumford & Sons
Just because I listen to them all the time these days.  


Osanna said...

Erin! I love this post. I'm listening to Mumford and Son's like crazy too. :)

Nicola said...

What a beautiful post Erin. You really hit the nail on the head. What a wonderful and challenging road to really love and know our husbands as fully as we can each and every day.