"What did you do differently to care for each other,
back when you were first in love than you do now?"
(The question bothered me because it presupposes that you have fallen out of love over time.
Some people do. But, I wish we wouldn't act like this is a given.)
Regardless of that, it is a valid question to pose -
"What kind of things keep the passion burning?"
|Am I trying to hide my nervous giggles?|
What comes to mind is guts. It takes a lot of guts.
Love is risky. Love requires us exposing ourselves.
It takes guts to put your heart on the line for someone else.
Going back to the early days for us,
Scott had to have a lot of guts to win my heart.
I put up a little wall and my body language screamed, "no!"
He still stood close by.
I trampled his courage down with a cold shoulder.
Then God started to open my eyes to who this guy really was.
And I started falling in love with him.
(And beating myself up for being such a jerk.)
Now it was my turn.
I had to humble myself and expose myself & my remorse.
Now I had to have the courage to take a posture of openness.
(Like what Ruth did with Boaz by laying at his feet, maybe?
I didn't do that one. I did bring him cough drops when he was sick though...)
Again, Scott had to take a chance, hoping he had read the signs correctly.
This time in a bigger way.
He showed me all his cards and told me really how he felt about me.
He laid open his heart to me.
He could have walked away with more disappointments.
Nothing was sure in this.
Except the fact that we would not be in love now,
if there was no risk taken.
I wonder if for love to stay strong,
we have to accept the fact that it will require guts,
throughout the life of that love.
We've got to have the courage to expose ourselves to the other, again and again.
We have to be willing to risk being hurt or disappointed.
Maybe it is right to say we shouldn't get too comfortable in our marriages.
The very foundation of actively loving is moving out of our comfort, right?
Don't wait to love your spouse until it seems like it is totally safe.
Just throw yourself out there. Get some guts.
Waiting for safety means your going to miss out on the passion.
What do you think? Do you think this is off?
(I have to admit I am hesitant about hitting "publish".
I am not advocating subjecting ourselves to people who are proven
to be unsafe and abusive.)