Friday, October 5, 2012

Let's Not Go Back

Dear Scott,

9 years ago I was falling in love.
We were sailing on a yacht in a tropical paradise.
We had less gray hairs, fitter frames, younger skin.
I was discovering how much I admired you.
We were learning that conversation was easy with each other.
It felt natural and it was satisfying.

In the months that followed we spent several evenings a week,
just kicking back with my sisters,
chumming around, playing cards & drinking tea.
We played tennis with my family on the weekends.
I wasn't any good.
(You don't really want to play tennis with me anymore.  I get it.)
Or what about the time you spent all day with me and my friend,
at a beekeeping workshop?
Those days were sweet.

We were talking on the phone & emailing each other
with increasing frequency.
I talked with my friends about you 
& how much I wanted something serious to happen
& was it safe to hope & would I just be brokenhearted?

Then you called me & told me that you that I was amazing.
You told me you'd never met a girl like me,
and you didn't want to let me get away.
And my head & heart were about to explode.
We drove around in your red Camaro that night
& were constantly amazed that this was real & we were in love.
There was so much to discover about each other.
So much to look forward to.
These days were good.

As much as I love remembering the days of our new love,
 let's not go back.
We've come so far.  We love each other more every day.
We tried to care for each other back then.
But, we didn't really know each other.
We were learning.
(And we are still learning.  Let's not ever stop learning.)

I don't want to go back, and I know you don't want to either.
What about this road we've journeyed?
All of the incredible joys, the deep sorrow, the sacrifices, 
the leaps of faith, the hopes, the fears?  
These have been part of binding us together.

Let's keep down this road, and not turn back.

Let's pile love upon love, as we face each twist & turn in this road.
God knows how to multiply His good gifts.
All the love is going to be pressed down, shaken together 
and running over, pouring into our laps.


Nicola said...

What a precious post!
I'm like you, I love to think back about the time Lucas and I began, but I would never want to go back. I love where we are now and all that God has taught us and all we've learned along the way!
Thank you for the post and encouragement to look forward and not always backward.

Fearfully Made said...

Amen! Beautiful!
I love to remember when my husband and I met. But I wouldn't go back. I want to keep building, forgiving, submitting and loving.

Stef said...

oh, this made me cry. I loved it. Remembering is so fun and definitely awesome to see how God was forming a sweet love, but seeing where God's brought us is and anticipating what the future holds is amazing.
When Jason and I were engaged I remember an elderly couple who told us "enjoy this time because its sweet and new and you never get these days again... but anticipate the future, because the best is yet to come."
And when they said it, it sounded so cliche and I'm afraid I chalked it up to "cheesy and romantic" ... but they were right. And we're still newlyweds compared to most! :)

Stephanie said...

This gave me goosebumps, Erin. You have a wonderful way with words.

It always makes me sad when people talk about "the good old days" of high school or college or newlywed bliss. While I certainly have good memories from all of those "eras" of my life, I wouldn't ever want to go back. I love being right here, right now - in the company of the people I hold most dear.