Saturday, January 7, 2012

Real Marriage {this is ours}

You and I are friends- the best of friends, we are partners, co-ministers & lovers.
I am happy to serve you.  But you are not my boss.  You are happy to serve me, too.
You & I walk side by side.  
We follow Christogether & beckon our children to follow.

I don't know if we are complementarians or egalitarians.
Do we fit a label?  (And do we care?)
We are different from one another.  We complement each other.
I cannot do all you can.  You cannot do all I can.
I know Christ would carry our family through, if one of us should leave this world.
But in a very real sense, we need each other & we know that.

I don't obey you & you don't command me.
Nor are you hen-pecked by me.
We submito each other in love.
We work together.
We decide together.
And sometimes it is a little scary because I am a full grown up with real responsibility.
But I am grateful you trust me and respect me.
I respect & trusyou, too.  Love & respect goes both ways.

I am a homemaker & proud to be.
You are one, too.  
We make this home together & nurture our love.

You provide happily for our family.
But I do, too.  
We labor in different ways to meethe needs of our family together, 
as we are gifted & able.

We learn to make love by loving each other with all we have.
We do not read sex manuals (Christian or not).  Why should we?
We two are just giving all we can.
All I have is yours.  All you have is mine.
Sometimes it may not be much.  
And that is okay.  
(for richer & poorer, in sickness & in health, in exhaustion & in energy.)

I learn to love who you are, not who I may expect you to be.
You do the same for me.
You buy your pants at OSH & that is okay with me.  
Not because I love those pants, but I love the man who loves wearing them.
I ask your advice as I head to the hair salon & you tell me you don't care.
You tell me I am beautiful.  And you wonder aloud how you are so lucky.
Long hair, short hair, skirt, sweats, grubby or make-up.  
It does not seem to matter to you.  You look at me the same.
Because you love me.

and we have indeed aged in 7 years

p.s.  While I did write this inspired by discussions of the Driscoll's book, Real Marriage, 
I have not read the book & this is in no way a review of their book.


Stef said...

Very sweet post, Erin. Loved it <3

I think this is where couples like us should honestly thank our parents for the godly examples they set and the good foundation they gave us. And of course, thank God for His grace and mercy in our lives early on.

I'm not very sheltered in my friendships {not assuming you are, but I honestly don't know} and have quickly come to realize there are *many* couples who don't have the good, biblical perspective on marriage that Jason and I do. My goal would never be to parade or lord my blessed, happy marriage over them and mock them for actually *needing* help in areas we may not, but rather being thankful that insight and help is out there for them.

I confess I've heard sermons and read books on marriage where I finish and think "yeah... seriously? people need to be told that?!" and then feel quite humbled when I meet couples who've been blessed tremendously by the help and guidance they never received from parents or any other role model in their life, previously. I need to be way more thankful than I am.

Again, great post and a *very* good reminder of what God can do with couples who seek HIM even while they are single and then begin relationships (into marriage) in a Christ centered, God glorifying way.
Also, loved the picture - I don't think you much different now at all!

Erin said...

Stef I am SO grateful for the graces of God in my upbringing & my very good husband. I hope I don't sound like I am lording it over anyone or mocking anyone. I mean to say that marriage may be complicated, but the answers are usually simple - honesty & selflessness cover a multitude of issues. I wonder if sometimes reading all the how-to books make things harder?

Nicola said...

Amen to Stef reply and your post Erin. Loved the post. I really feel and know that I'm so blessed with having the upbringing and parents that I had as well as Lucas. I love the man that God had pick out for me. God loves to give good gifts! Beyond all that we could imagine.

Sarah Bessey said...


Vanessa said...

I love this! Thank you for sharing!! :)

Caryn B. said...

What a beautiful post....

Angie said...


Angie said...


Stephanie said...

There are so many things I love about this post.

We don't read sex manuals either. In fact, we don't really even read marriage books. ;)

Also - I especially love the part about how you are both homemakers. Such a beautiful way to write about that.

Thanks for sharing such a superb post w/ all of us.

Stephanie said...

P.S. Did you notice I nominated your post for Rachel Held Evans' "Sunday Superlatives"? AND she selected you (of course!):

Erin said...

Steph, I did not know you nominated me & was just browsing the links last night & just about choked when I saw myself. You are so kind! Geez! I am so flattered.