For the Birds.

I've sort of fallen off the bloggy truck, I guess.
Sometimes I blog in my head.  But, not usually.  Not now days.
These days, the writing isn't flowing too strong.  In my mind or my fingers.
But, even during this down time of the blog, 
I get really encouraging comments like this one - 
"May I simply just say what a comfort to discover an individual 
who really knows what they 
are discussing online. You definitely realize how to bring a 
problem to light and make it important. A lot more people should read 
this and understand this side of the story. 

It's surprising you're not more popular because you definitely possess the gift."

Really?  Thank you, Anonymous!  I feel so motivated.  But, not enough to click on your virility link.

Thank you, though, for your thoughts.

Oh well.  
These days are spent with these hanging around with my kids, of course.  
And sometimes its hard to hear myself think, for all the noise.
Thoughtful writing, not so much.

Speaking of them, I made them hard boiled eggs yesterday and this was overheard, as they peeled - 

Moira (excitedly) - "Can you imagine that mommy was actually cooking baby chicks?!"

Gillian (in gagging disgust) "Mo!  I was trying to be brave to even try this egg and now you are making it even more embarrassing to eat it.  Stop!"

Just funny.  They are funny.

Our yard is in remodel stage.  
Many newish plants that are mainly for the purpose of attracting hummingbirds.
New planters built and and now prep for a new lawn.
My crew works even in surprise rain (on Memorial day!)

Speaking of Memorial day, we had a good weekend of adventures, 

glad for the kick start of summer.

We went to the beach and to the redwoods.  No surprise.  That's where we live.

Big Basin

Lover's Point Pacific Grove

We had another adventure that weekend.  
We collected critters to bring home as pets.  
We now have 5 Parakeets in our dining room.

Yes.  And, I actually love them.
My general philosophy is that animals should not be brought in to a home to live with people.
That is just not my way.  
Not really my actual way, as in the way I live.  
I've had dogs in my house for years.  
But, it is my way, as in, the ideals I personally hold.
Anyway.  Whatever.  We have birds in our house and I love them.
We all do.

And yes.  They are messy and noisy.  
It's okay.  It's like I'm nesting.
I'm a mother bird.  I clean up seed hulls and bird poop with joy.
I even have been sewing for the birds.  I lovely cage cover.
One thing I am concerned about...  Yesterday a bird flew into our house.  
As in, an outside bird.  One which we did not buy at a pet store.  
She just came in.
I was freaking out.  It was hard to get her out.  She kept going for the window in my kitchen.
I only have two doors to the outside.  And they aren't huge.  
What in the world?  Why did she choose to come in?  Did it have to do with Parakeets?
Is that a thing?  Do birds respond to calls from over types of birds?
Just strange.  I was all jumpy and screamy trying to get that thing out.
No wild birds in my house, please!

My guy and I are having a stay at home date tonight.  It's going to be cheesy.
As in, we are going to eat cheese.  
But, also cheesy in the sense that I think we might sit by the bird cage and admire.
That might be fun and sweet.
And, I also downloaded a new album for us to listen to.
Away We Go soundtrack.  Because we love the movie.  And we love the music.
So, I went to iTunes and put it on my computer. 
That sounds easy, right?
Wrong.  It took me about a week to figure out how to use iTunes.
I'm too old for Apple products.  They just don't work for me.
My brain is not wired for it, I suppose.
And that's okay with me.

I'll try to share more news from around here soon.
If I make it back on the blog more often than monthly.
If not, I guess that's okay.  You'll just be really missing out on all this glamour.

Thanksgiving Day #3

Thankful to be home again.

ten on ten {September 2012}

A picture of something beautiful, ten times throughout our day on the tenth of September.

searching for mosquito fish, first thing in the morning

Sisters who love books

Art time

Smoothie finished

  

Water flowers have bloomed.  They weren't there first thing this morning.

Egg Vending Machine & Chicken Dance show at Glaum

Tea time & watching National Geographic - Search for the Jaguar

My favorite glass sits among dirty dishes that didn't get washed.

Quality Check on Journey Bags for foster kids in our county.

Getting dinner onto the table.

 Joining Rebekah @ Bit of Sunshine for her Ten on Ten Photo project...

Busy, Busy {what is busy}

It is rare for me to go out in public with my kids & not get comments from strangers.

Most of the time people say, "Wow!  You have your hands full!"

I just smile with an eyebrow raised & answer, "Yep!"

It's true.  I have my hands full.  My life feels full.

Full, but not busy.

When people comment, "My aren't you a busy lady!" 

I don't give the same answer of agreement.

Recently I was asked how I was doing and I think I gave the notso brilliant answer, 
"I'm good."

Descriptive right?  So she asked what we've been up to.

I said, just having regular, nice summer, with nothing interesting to report.

She listed off a bunch of things that one does when they are parent & said,

 "See, you've been busy.  You are always very busy!"

I think she wanted me to know that my time was not being wasted.

She seemed to be trying to encourage me, as if I may feel worth more if I were busy.

The truth is, I don't feel busy.  I don't see our life as busy.  

Loud?  Often.  Chaotic?  At times.  Full of worth?  Yes!

Did you read the NYT article, The Busy Trap?  

(It's a few weeks old.  I'm slow to mention my thoughts.  

What can I say?  I'm just slow.  It is not because I've been too busy.)

And my bloggy friend Annie wrote some good words about the Irony of the Busy Trap, too.

When you ask most people how they are doing, what do they usually answer?

"Busy!"  Right?

Is that good?  When most people say "Busy!" they don't sound too happy about it.

They sound a bit harried.  The tone sounds like it wasn't what they want for themselves.

So many are so busy.

What do you think of busy?  
The good, the bad & ugly.

I see busy as harried & cluttered movement.

I think of "busy" as stress that outweighs the purpose of it all.
Busy may look like too much good stuff going on that we can't be present in any of it.

A busy life seems like a life that has no leftover space in it.

We may have some craziness around here with 4 little kids,

but we still have space for rest.  

Not just on a rare occasion.  Every day we take time to rest.

We usually get a fair amount of sleep.  

Scott & I have time of rest after the kids are in bed.

We have time of rest as a family, all 6 of us.

We sit in the yard & watch the birds.

We play marble run.  We bake cupcakes.

We eat dinner at the table.

We read books.  We take walks.  

We hold babies on laps & snuggle bigger little ones, too.

We also break up fights & calm crying.

We repeat the same exhortations again & again.

We clean spills & messes (& sometimes we let them sit a while.)

It is common that I don't wash the pots & pans until they are required for their next use.

We eat Subway for dinner sometimes.

Sometimes I do get stressed & freak out.  I am short with my kids.

I brush aside their chatter so I can get my stuff done.

Mostly I think that life feels busy & hard to do,

when I fail to keep some leftover space.

We need space leftover for all of the unknowns.   

All the stuff we can't predict & control.

Space for the other people we are living our lives with.  

Space to just be.  Space to rest.

A blank space on the calendar.

Last summer my bloggy friend Sarah Bessey wrote a piece about 

Leaving Space in the Margins, as part of her Practices of Mothering series.

It is very worth a read by non-mothers, too.  I think it applies to all of us in our lives.

(And while you are at it, her entire Practices of Mothering series is worth a read.)

I know I haven't been blogging much lately.
(And I'm not sure if what I just blogged made a speck of sense.)  

I haven't been too busy.  I've just been doing other things.

No big summer trips.  Just a few fun outings so far.

We are hoping to get a little vacation of sorts in before school starts, though.

Even when we have been taking it easy this summer, 

it still seems like time goes by quickly.  Right?  
Once you start seeing the end of July it feels like, "wait!  where did summer go?"

I hope you all are finding time & space to enjoy your life right now!

Tell us about it.

All that Day to Day Stuff {knowing}

As special as parent/child dates can be,

I think there is something more essential to building a trusting & knowing connection.

All that normal day to day stuff of life.  That is important.

The stuff like eating, loading the dishwasher, pulling weeds, 

digging holes, folding laundry, being sick, 

waking up to go potty in the middle of the night, scraping knees, 

reading stories, getting hurt feelings, and so on & so forth.

That stuff, the stuff which may seem boring, meaningless, uncomfortable 

- it has great worth.

That is the knowing of real life.  

That is where people really get to know each other.

The foundation for a strong relationship is not going to appear terribly fancy.

Just being together, you will grow to know each other.  

I think there is so much value in sharing simple times together, even (& especially) 

if you are not a parent who gets to spend the majority of your time with your kids.

Scott works full-time outside of the home 

& he wishes he could spend more time with the kids.

(But we are really grateful for all the time we do have.  

Lunch home almost daily.  Only 10 minute drive to work.  Work travel together...)

He feels like he misses so much.

Maybe you have felt the same at times?

Sometimes when you aren't the parent who gets to be there all the time, 

you may believe that the time you do have should be 

super-duper special-exciting all fancied-up with bells on.

We are not pretending to know everything here.  

But, do you mind if I tell you our ideas on the matter?

It may be a big mistake to use all your time together doing big outings & super fun things.

Our kids do think dad is fun, because he is.  (But, not all the time.)

He doesn't take them to do fun things every weekend.  

We do a lot of being together at home boring kind of stuff.

And even though he is not the full-time at home parent, 

he is actively participating in all the boring day to day stuff when he is here.

That means he knows the kids well.  He is very present when he is here.

He does not feed them constant entertainment.  He does normal living with them.

We try to not make life too exciting. 

A lot about home & family is built on all that basic, boring day to day stuff.
A lot of the knowing take place in the midst of the ordinary.

We don't want to leave dad out of the real home life.

The All-Mysterious, All-Important Knowing

As a parent, I think one of the biggest jobs we have is to know our kids.

Isn't that central to a peaceful home & happy family?  

Being who you really are, understood & loved in all that,
is what makes family so special.

But, like a lot of parenting & relationships, there is no formula for knowing.

It's a bit mysterious, right?

Knowing requires continual learning & growing.  

It will always be changing & will never be fully grasped by us.

Can I tell you one of those "lines" that I hear often

about having a lot of kids that I never know how to answer?

"What's one more, when you have that many, right?!"

I get it.  I may have even said it in reverse more than once.

("I can hardly handle my two?  How do you do it?"
It is not so terribly different parenting four.)

It is true that the day to day operations of being a parent are quite similar
no matter the number of kids.

You have to be awake to take care of them, you need to feed them, 

you can't just head out for alone time, without making a bunch of arrangements 

to make sure the kid(s) are cared for.  And on & on, right?

But (and it is a big but) there is so much more than all that.  

And the saying, "what's one more?" really bothers me because
that one more is a whole different person.

That one more child is completely unique.  

For a parent, that is huge.  Another little person to learn to know.

To know your child well means you know how they need to be loved.

You know how to teach them effectively.

You know how to discipline them with understanding.

You know how to treat them with respect.

You know how to be patient & offer grace.

You know how to make them feel at home with you.

I know I am no expert at knowing.  I know that.

I know I want to be intentional in learning to know each of my kids.

Let's do a blog series on this, shall we?

I have some things rattling in my brain &
I have some hopes for some guest posts, too.

Springing

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. 

You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.
So is it with everyone born of the Spirit.”

John 3:8

““[Jesus said,]I have come that they may have life,

& have it to the full.”

John 10:10

“The wilderness & the dry land shall be glad;

& the desert shall rejoice & blossom as the rose.”

Isaiah 35:1

Sweetheart Date (Dinner at Eight)

My sweetheart & I had an at home date for V-day, after the kidlets were in bed.

We've had good at home dates before.

But this one was fabulous.  We had a great time.

At home dates kill the competition of going out.  

(But I still like going out, so long as the food is good.)

I attempted a Maiden Braid "headband".  I thought it turned out pretty swell.  

But it looks a bit retarded in the photo, with my hair sticking out the side of my head.

Oh well.

Also, seems my button was coming undone, when I took my outfit picture.

Oh well.

I love this dress (heart buttons!) from Modcloth.  

Jewelry by 31 Bits is also awesome, of course.

We had a tent of sorts that we built in the living room.  

Sheets, tulle, lights, sparkle hearts.

Rib Eye Steaks with Blue Cheese,

Heart cut Beets on pea shoots, 

and sauteed Spinach.

All could be done very quickly once the kids went to bed.

We opened a bottle of our favorite wine (for special occasions only) Topel.

And we dined fireside.

Dessert was sharing a little box of Lula's salted Caramels.

(SO good.)

Do you know about Dinner at Eight over at Rebekah's?

She & her friend Andi are challenging you all out there to try dating at home.

I think you'll love it.

Ours was so lovely for us.  We talked & shared.

We read love letters to each other.

Oh.  And we broke one of the cardinal rules of married dating.

Have you heard that you aren't supposed to talk about the kids?

I just heard Gary Smalley give this instruction 

when I was listening to K-Love this last week.

Don't talk about the kids or finances, he said.

Instead, he said we should remember the good times.

So, kids aren't part of the good times?

We think they are.  We think they are a good date night topic.

Even the idea of "remembering the good times" is one I am not too fond of.

We are one.  And we walk through the good & the bad together.  

We are not going to avoid talking about the hard stuff, 

in an effort to make a date more romantic.

My sweetheart & I bond over our love for our kids, 

over good memories of the past,  

over telling each other about our struggles of the day,

over learning how to cook a steak sans the outdoor grill, 

over grief shared, over scary roads, 

over trusting God's goodness,

over dreams for our future,

over love notes, whether written on letterpress cards or company letterhead.

Deja Vu

A little bit ago, we watched that Hugh Grant/Julianne Moore movie, Nine Months.
Have you seen it?  1995.  I saw Julianne Moore & I was like,
"wait, I thought that hair style was homeschool style, right?
Home decor, "country" dresses & the hair from my home school childhood
were the all the styles on this movie.  Normal folks in S.F. in the 90's.
Country "clutter", have back hair in huge silver clip, denim dresses...
Friends, I guess we were on trend with it all.
I knew homeschoolers were cool.  I just didn't know we were cool in that way.


Speaking of childhood flashbacks,
last week we had a short time period of having a book shelf in the hallway.
We did a kid room re do & I had to make room the the 2nd set of bunk beds to be built.

As I was shimmying past it all day, I thought of all the houses I've been in through my life.
Biggish families in smallish houses, homeschooling, loaded to the rafters with books.
Books in the halls, books on the fireplace, books going on the stairway,
bookshelves in the bathroom, bookshelves lining ever spare space.
And I thought, I could live with this.  I could deal with book shelves in the hall,
as long as I don't gain a ton of weight.

Our kid room with 2 bunk beds in there is awesome.  I love it.
Our kid's love it, too.

We moved stuff around to fit the bed & it ended up that everything was better for it.
We had to take off the closet door.  It was a bit sad, as it was a gorgeous door.
But, the kid's are loving the new "curtain" I made.

It is reminiscent of the disco beads hanging in the 1970's doorways.
And it was inspired by this garland on my pin boards.

I cut long strips of fabric, sometimes sewing them to make them long enough
& knotted them across a spring tension curtain rod.
Voila.

Speaking of then & now, driving our country roads, I was thinking of then.
then being, we weren't from here.
then when I remember being over here,
(I think going to get apples or berries or such from Gizdich),
and my mom took a wrong turn or something.  We were lost on the back roads.
We were in awe of how lovely the nooks & crannies & valleys were.
It seemed like it would be such a dream to live here.
Now I do.
the back then was when my family used to come to
Bible Memory Association camp over here.
We went to summer camp where my husband used to go to real school.
(Monte Vista, folks.  that was family camp to me.)
the then was when my parents came to Pajaro Dunes for their getaway nights.
Now that is our beach.
If my husband ever feels up to going to the sand, that is probably where we head.
I was driving the country roads with my kids, letting the fitful babe get some car seat Z's in,
& thinking again how lovely these hills & valleys are.
How lucky we are to live here.
My kids were thankful, too.  they still find wonder in the scenes they see often.
I am grateful for that.
Watching the ocean waves, seeing a deer graze (or llamas, or alpacas),
seeing the sailboats, the apple trees, the flowers is a blessing.