Tuesday, November 1, 2011

God Speaks to Me (the question is, Am I listening?)

I have been feeling like I have no idea what I am doing each day.
In this thing called parenting.

When the same issues keep resurfacing - 
no one is sleeping, no one seems to listen to me, everyone seems to be picking on another...
I have no idea what to do.  Nothing I have ever tried in the past seems to be changing things.
I don't know how to be the good mom I want to be.
I wonder how to do right by my children.

And I know I should not be listening to myself.
Someone else is trying to speak truth to me.
Yet I seem to love the sound of my own angry voice.

He doesn't give up, though.
He keeps pressing in with His love. 
I hear an answer faintly as I read some of my regular blogs.
"You need to abide in Me."

I come to a breaking point again, 
& I wonder, what am I doing so wrong to mess up everyday?
I pick up the book a friend lent to me a couple months ago & finally crack it open.
I hear His voice stronger now.  "Come to Me, you weary daughter."
"Come drink from My well of grace."

I sit in the pew at church & listen.
His voice is right in my ear & I can hear nothing else.
"Cast your care at my feet.  I am listening.  Are you?
All the power you need for your daily calling is found in Me."

I bow my neck that is rather stiff (from nursing all the time?) & say, "Yes, now I am."

When I listen, I hear Him remind me all day long, 
"Abide in Me, & I will give you what you need.
I am  him who is able to do immeasurably more 
than all you ask or imagine, 
according to My power that is at work within you."

p.s. a favorite quote from the book, Spiritual Parenting - 
"...parent in a way that does not simply spend hours 
but also allows [you] to invest [your] days toward eternity." 


Stef said...

oh my, how this post relates to me! I struggled so much through the summer (with my own personal life) and felt so discouraged and lost even. Like when I found time for me, I didn't spend it wisely. Or later on I would tell Jason that the time I spent felt chaotic and not thought out or planned well.
Our Pastors are always honing in on the personal one on one relationship we have with Christ. Not just praying when things are bad or crazy, but talking to God, continually. Making it a habit. Going to Him first and giving Him every single anxiety and care.
And then the being still and quiet, long enough to hear Him speak back to you. Its not something we're accustomed to in this busy, get everything right away world we live in :)
Good reminders. Loved this post.

Have you ever read Simplicity Parenting? Its an awesome book as well.

Nicola said...

Thank you Erin for posting this. You have encouraged me greatly. I'm going to have to get the book. I would love to read it.

Charlotte said...

This is very encouraging.

I related to your statement, "..I seem the love the sound of my own angry voice."

So true of me. All of this. But His strength is perfect and He can work His power through me. Thank God it is not all up to me! I would fail miserably.

I need to put that book on my reading list.

Erin said...

Stef, I haven't read simplicity parenting, but it sounds like something I want for us!