Friday, May 21, 2010

This Week Five Years Ago...

...Our first child was born, with Anencephaly.  

If you've never heard of Anencephaly, you are not alone.  My spell check doesn't recognize the word. 
A little more than 5 years ago, I had never heard of it either.  
When the ultrasound technician said the word to me, I didn't know what it meant.
If you Google the word, the main thing you will get is cold medical terminology.  You may find out that some very educated people don't think that anencephalic babies have any life in them.  There is a lot you can read & lot you probably shouldn't read.  If you are searching for information about Anencephaly, I think the only place you need to go is

During the bittersweet months of being pregnant with our son, Gabriel, we learned a lot about life- even more about its preciousness.  He was so active & lively.  He was crazier in utero than his younger siblings.  Sometimes it was like he was break dancing.  Or practicing gymnastics.   

Anencephaly is always fatal.  That is a factual truth.  But, prior to the death, there was life.  Our baby was alive.  He even held on through the hardship of being born.  

We welcomed a child into this world, 5 years ago.

We even received a note of congratulations.

Gabriel Scott Adams was alive; even if for only a few minutes after birth.

If you are carrying a baby diagnosed with Anencephaly, I would love to talk with you.  Or maybe you gave birth & have already had to say good bye to your baby.  If you want to talk to someone, let me know.


Krista said...

I started bawling when I read this post, and Elijah ran over to me to stroke my face and tell me everything is all right. I can't believe it has been 5 years already, his life was precious now matter how short!

Nini said...

Thanks for sharing this Erin. I know it is a very hard thing to walk through and you have, and continue to walk through it with grace. Gabriel has some pretty amazing parents.

Stef said...

Such a beautiful post, Erin. I had the same reaction as Krista when I saw his sweet face again in that picture. I was telling Ethan about Gabriel just the other day. He said "I don't know why babies ever have to die" and right there, he and I had the same feelings going through our minds. I told him that God does all things well, knows best and cares for us more than we ever could... but its still so hard.

5 years has gone by fast. But every time the calendar comes around to May 17th, it all feels like yesterday. I imagine for you guys, a lot of days feel like that.

Love you!

Karie said...

Erin, I still remember how you showed me Gabriel's scrapbook that you brought to church not long after he was born. Thank you for sharing his life with all of us.


LindaFaye said...

Thanks for sharing these moments here. I appreciate you opening up your heart like this, it's what drew me to you when we first met. Also, I just wanted to say that I am so glad you chose to carry Gabriel full term. If I knew you then I would say, "I support you in this, friend."

paisley and lace said...

tears rolling....

Erin, I love how you and Scott never forget. Gabriel is kept so alive by your continual remembrances. He is such a part of your life and now ours. We will know him when we get to meet him because you have shared him with us. Thankyou.

Hummingbirder said...

Thank you for the beautiful post. I remember crying at the baby shower (I was pregant with Mikey) and being so moved by the baby album that you put together with such love. God bless you and yours, Deanna

team brownlee said...

Erin, I thought of you last week and loved reading your reflections on your sweet son. I remember so vividly watching you walk through this season and the grace of God which emanated from your face and spirit. It was a huge source of encouragement to me. I, too, look forward to meeting Gabriel and find it comforting that him and Liam are worshipping at the throne of God together!