Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Training Children May Help Your Marriage

When your kids are throwing a crazy fit about something, what do you tell them?
When they take something without asking, what do you say?
When your daughter gets mad at her brother & smacks him in the face,
what do you say?
USE YOUR WORDS.
Right?  Parents say it all the time.

How about us.  Are we always using our words?
Hopefully we aren't hitting & screaming & flailing on the ground.
We are adults (right?).

But, sometimes we just expect that our husband knows our thoughts.
"I shouldn't have to say this, surely he already knows."
Just like moms can't (completely) read minds, neither can husbands.
Sometimes we cry or pout & don't want to talk about it.
Just like a mom wants to know what the problem is, so she can help,
a husband needs you to tell him, too.
Tell him.  That doesn't mean the tears won't flow.
But, at least he'll know why, right?

Last week I was really stressed about something, I couldn't help but cry.
(Sometimes you just have to cry, right?  Especially when your pregnant...)
The stress was over things beyond his control.
I needed to tell him what the problem was.  And that, it wasn't him.
Or else, how would he know?
I needed to use my words.
Once I did, I felt a lot better.
And, I think he did, too.
Trying to go to sleep next a woman who keeps weeping cannot be an easy thing.
It had to stop.
After we both used our words to talk out the stressful situation
& discuss all our options, things were so much better.
I could go to sleep content.  I knew we would do the best we could.  Together.

6 comments:

Fisher price doll house said...

having children has blessed and helped grow our marriage in so many ways! If kids don't grow your marriage nothing will

Charlotte said...

This is great advice, Erin. Our husbands are our best friends but we have to remember they are not mind readers! And child training definitely sanctifies us mom's too!

A Clean Desk said...

Thank you Erin! You are a blessing to me. I appreciate your honest candor, and thoughtful communication.
Wish you were closer or I was closer.
Blessings to you.

LindaFaye said...

Arg. I hate talking about my feelings when I am burned out and not doing well. I just want Sean to get a hint and make things easy for me for a few days while I recover.... But it just doesn't happen that way.

I need to get better at using my words...

Stephanie said...

Yes. Talking things out always brings a lot of peace for me and Tim too. Better to have things out in the open than hidden in our minds!

stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

Stephanie said...

Yes. Talking things out always brings a lot of peace for me and Tim too. Better to have things out in the open than hidden in our minds!

stephanie@metropolitanmama.net