Blueberry, Dahlias, Summer

Happy Weekend!

I have a bad key in my key board so my words are few.

(clue: before U, preceded by S)

Help for the Hurting

Someone I care a lot about is going through a very deep sorrow right now.

It can be hard to know what to do.  

How can I help?

What should I say?

I don't have all the answers.  

But, I have some ideas.

Don't be afraid to track down their contact info.

Do you not know their mailing address?  You aren't sure if you should call them?

You aren't sure if they know how much you care, so maybe you shouldn't say anything?

Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  If you care & tell them that, it will mean a lot.

You & your care matter.  

My friend told me that she was so blessed by everyone who "tracked" her down.

When you are in the midst of life-altering grief, you can't go contact all your friends.

Go to the one who is hurting.  

Tell Them You Care

Write a note.

Tell them how much you care.

Tell them things that you love about them.

Tell them that you are praying.

Give a Hug

I'm not sure if a good hug would ever be the wrong thing to give someone hurting.

It's worth a try!

Give Something Beautiful

flowers maybe?  A beautiful card?

I went back & forth with myself, wondering if the flowers I put together were too cheery.

And in the end, I didn't know.  Maybe they were.  

I didn't know if the card I picked out was perfect or not.

But, I just went with it.  Just do it.  

Just show that you care.

Give Something Nourishing

When someone is going through a deep valley, 

the last thing they may think about is fixing a healthy meal.

But, they need it.  There body is stressed under the pain & grief.

They need good food.  

Do you make a great soup?  Amazing curry?  The perfect lasagna?

Share the love.

Give a Tasty Treat

A favorite coffee drink?  The best ever cookies?

Some ice cream?  These Semi-homemade treats?

Give an Ear

If your friend does want to talk, listen.

Don't try to talk out "solutions" to everything.

Listen.

Don't Know What to Say

Do you not know what to say?

It's okay.  You don't have to say anything.

You could just try, I don't know what to say.  

Or, I am praying for you.

My friend told me that everyone is saying to her, I wish I knew what to say.

She said, it's okay, I don't know what to say.  What can say?

Give a Break

Can you offer to do a little housework while your friend gets out?

Perhaps you can take the children to the park, while your friend has a quiet break at home?

Reach out, say little, listen lots.  I think your friend will feel loved.

What's in Your Fridge (or cupboard or whatever) - Part 1. Snacks

Does anyone else here love the last page interview in Bon Appetit magazine?
I usually turn there first.
I just love knowing what kind of foods people love to eat, I guess.
What's in your fridge?  Best question.  I love it.
Why do I care that Eva Marie Saint always has Brie in her fridge?
I have no idea.

By chance there is any person out on the internets
who cares at all about what is in my fridge, I thought I would tell.

I am going to go above &  beyond.
I will not just tell you my top 3 items.
I'm gonna tell you about all the groceries that are important to me.
Fridge, freezer, pantry, spice cupboard.  Whatever.

Part One - Snack Foods

Toasted Almonds

Clif Kid Z Bars

HAPPYBABY pouches

Bananas

Carrots

Cuties

Yo Baby Yogurt

Water in SIGG sport bottles

*I'm not getting anything for mentioning these products.  It is just the stuff we like.

Note To Self About Sleep & Phases

Kendall had been sleeping a solid night & taking her naps well for months.
About 2 weeks ago, things changed.
She got really quick with her rolling & starting rolling all over her crib, anytime I put her down.
She would be the tiniest bit awake, & she would roll out of her snuggle & resist going back to sleep.

I thought maybe she was teething.  Maybe that was it.
I was mad that Hyland's had to recall their amazing teething tablets.

I would rock & nurse & soothe until she was asleep,
spending the 30-45 minutes whispering to the other kids to please be quiet.
I'd lay her down.  I'd remind them to stay quiet.
Not happening.  Someone forgets.
Shouts, screams, whatever.
Baby screams & won't go back to sleep.
Me - FRUSTRATED

I couldn't seem to do anything to change things.

When Scott witnessed the events firsthand over the weekend,
he understood the pain.

I whined, "how long will this be my life?"

We recalled this phase happening with all the other kids.
But, we couldn't remember when it ended, or how.

So, now, today, while Kendall is successfully asleep for nap number 2,
I will write this note to myself, so I can remember.

Dear Erin,
Your baby is probably just going through a phase.
Sleep is a challenge for the moment.
But, it is only a phase.
This phases lasted only 2 weeks.
Getting out of it required nothing fancy.
You just keep rocking, nursing, head rubbing, pacifier fixing, lullaby singing.
I am pretty sure, this too shall pass.
Don't freak out.

Love,
Erin

linking up with Picture Me {im}Perfectly 

 

Linking up with Embrace the Camera

Backyard Picnicing

Date night  - Dinner at Eight - picnic in the backyard.
So lovely!

I set up on the lawn with quilts, pillows, pot stands for tables & flowers from the yard.

And, our white cuffed candle jars.

Champagne.

Cold cut meats, crackers, caprese salad, artichokes.

I made these crab cakes with lemongrass aoili & the pickled honey dew.

Scott found the recipe, cuz he loves lemongrass, remember?

Plus, crab cakes are kind of a date food for us.  

We always try the crab cakes at a new restaurant, to see if they are better then the last.

We had crab cakes at some really great places.

But, I don't think we have ever had better than the Cafe Cruz crab cakes.

Pickled melon?  Sounds weird, right?  We were both unsure.

Until we tasted.  SO good.

Scott said they were not fabulous.  They were better than fabulous.

We had little Lemon Lavender Cupcakes for dessert. 

And yes, there were a few breaks in there, to attend to the young ones.

Kendall had to nurse again.

At the time, it was still light out, so Scott took that to watch the hummingbirds in his garden.

And, Moira was running around her room causing a rucous again.

The older two have begun taking date nights really seriously, though.

They were strongly rebuking Mo, for her craziness, during date night.

Peyton even hit Moira for getting up.  Not good, I know.  

But, still a tiny bit funny.

He & Gillian didn't want the picnic disturbed.

(And Gillian was glad when she saw me setting up outside,

"Oh good!  Now you won't be bothering us while we try to sleep!")

We enjoyed the lovely outdoors, far into the evening.  

And talked about how we want to do it again.

And the next morning we were SO tired.  

Then I was down for a day.  

Ended up I gave myself food poisoning with poor handling of raw crab.

That was not fun.

We'll do something like this again soon, sans homemade crab cakes.

Loving Dinner at Eight.  

Link up with Andi & Rebecca if you want to have your own picnic date this month.

How to Have the Best Night Ever

Scott is a creative genius.

Last week, he told me an idea he had -

that we should have a kebab making family night.

The kids loved it!  

I cut a vegetable variety & drenched them in olive oil, a squirt of lemon juice & salt & pepper.

They picked what they wanted on their own sticks.

Cauliflower, tomatoes, zucchini, mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, broccoli.

They were proud of their kabobs.

(So much so, they ate their veggies!)

And they repeatedly declared it the best night ever.

The meats - Teriyaki Beef & Tandoori Chicken.

It was a nice Sunday evening.

We ended with peaches on the grill, topped with vanilla ice cream, sprinkled basil.

(Don't be afraid.  The basil with the peach & vanilla is lovely.)

What's the Point {of at home dates}?

We've been doing a weekly date night at home for the past month or so. 

We've done some Dinners at Eight - having a special dinner together, post kid bed time.

None of those dinners were private, peaceful date dinners.  

The kids needed repeated correction to "get back in bed", "stop shouting", & the like.

In short, they didn't fall asleep in a timely manner.

The last two weeks I was lacking in physical & creative energy.  

So, we were simpler.  

One week, after a regular family meal & kid bedtime, 

we shared cheese & wine & watched Smokey & the Bandit.

This week, we did one of my "to do" items together.

We iced the sugar cookies that I was making for a church event.

That sounds kinda sneaky of me, to make my husband help me with my projects.
But, he's really good at decorating cookies.
Our first Christmas together,
we made fancy monogram cookies for almost every person we knew.
(not quite.  but, we made a lot.)
His were spectacular.  He has icing skills.

Anyway.  These date nights.
Not too glamorous.  I know.
And besides, you may be thinking,
didn't you write a blog post about how you shouldn't need date nights for a good marriage?
Why yes.  I did.
And I still believe that.
I am not sitting at my computer,
worried about your marriage, if you don't have a regular date night.

So what's the point?
If they are usually interrupted by children
& they are unnecessary anyway?

My point is making priorities clear.
My husband is the person who matters most to me.
My point is being intentional to show love.
My point is making time to talk to each other,
without having to repeatedly ask the youngins to stop interrupting.
My point is trying to be creative for my husband.

Date night is one way I can do these things.
But, it is not the only way.
Do it your way.
Whatever your way may be.

linking up with Picture Me {im}Perfectly - dating my husband

Five Minute Friday {Loss}

Gypsy Mama has given the prompt Loss for Five Minute Friday.
And, she also gave us permission to use more than five minutes...
I think I'll have to take her up on that.

Ready, Set, Write.

Sometimes our greatest gains, only come after the most significant losses.

When we had our ultrasound that showed us we would lose our firstborn child,
we also lost the ability to have naive giddiness about all our future pregnancies.
We would never again just go in for an ultrasound with light hearts.
We lost some the innocent excitement.

But with the loss, we gained greater trust.
Trust that our baby was in God's hands, no matter what.
We gained greater love.
Love that is willing to love the one who is unlovely to most.
Love that is willing to love with our whole self,
even if we know the life will be short & the heart break will be great.

We gained a small understanding of His peace.  His peace that is beyond understanding.
I don't understand it still, really.  But, I know it is great.  It is incomprehensible.

We lost some happy-go-luckiness.
We gained a longing for heaven & wholeness.
We gained insight into others pain.

I lost my perfectly happy little family dreams.
That allowed me to open my heart to the orphan.
It is okay if adoption will be a bit messy.
I know now my family wasn't meant to be sheltered from pain.
The pain of the loss of my son,
has given me courage to gain more sons (&/or daughters),
who will come to me with their own history of loss & pain.








This one took me 10 minutes.  I leave it at that.