We all know everyone is unique,
just like flowers & snowflakes & leaves &
God is so creative like that.
But, when it comes to tailoring our training &
mentorship of our kids to them each individually,
it can get tricky.
What about fairness & equality?
We don't want them to believe we are favoring one over the other.
And there is the truth that we are all human & have much "sameness".
They are all made in God's image.
They are all sinners, in need of a Savior.
They all need to be taught the Truths of God's Word.
They all need to be loved & provided for.
I know many people read this verse differently, but,
my pastor said he believes that when
Proverbs 22:6 says
"train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it."
It is saying to train your child toward his own individual way, his natural bent.
We should understand our particular child &
encourage them in their God-given strengths.
Scott & I have been reading The Connected Child.
It is written particularly to adoptive or foster parents.
It talks about reaching a traumatized child.
It offers help in how to bond with a deeply wounded child,
who has seen a lot of pain.
It's a great book. We are trying to soak it all in.
But, learning about all the special needs for the orphan is a little intimidating.
And, it has caused us to rethink some things.
We cannot parent a wounded child the same way we parent a nurtured child.
What will that look like?
I worry a bit that it will cause tension between the children.
But, the truth is, no two children are the same.
One size does not fit all.
And, each one has their own special needs that need to be met.
The big thing that we have been rethinking is spanking.
By posing these questions, I am NOT trying to say that spanking is always wrong.
But, if spanking is not appropriate for a traumatized child,
then there are things to rethink.
Do you believe that spanking must be done,
in order to train your children according to the Bible?
Not that spanking is always bad.
But, that it is not necessary to parent Biblically.
The thing that got me even thinking in that direction is this -
If Christians believe that spanking is necessary to Biblical parenting,
than how do the Christians fit into the adoption & foster parenting world?
If the Church teaches that spanking is the only way,
then who should parent the abandoned & abused child?
Are we really going to leave that for institutions?
Or only to non-Christians?
God calls us to stand up for the fatherless.
He says that it is pure & undefiled religion to care for the widow & orphan.
This doesn't mean that all Christians should be adoptive parents.
But, everyone has a part.
Each member of the body should stand up for the fatherless
in the way they are called.
If the concern of having a "different" child in your life is a concern,
I challenge you to rethink that.
If you think spanking is "the only way", therefore, you can't adopt,
I would encourage you to rethink that.
One size isn't going to fit all.
(Speaking of fitting, why don't maternity pants ever fit right?!
I am so tired of tugging them up.)